"Singing in the Rain!"

With the thousands of posts nand comments I have read.  I have to say that the problem ones are such a tiny exception to the rule.  The folks here are very professional most of the time.

Just stopping by for my points - have a nice post.

Hi Rich, The AR community HAS to be a place of trust.  We have to support each other and not pass judgment.  It's a fun place to share.

Any business relationship is about trust!  I would argue that the ratio of bad apples in the bunch is increasing.  We need to be concerned and not want to talk about dirty little secrets within the industry.  We're human and people get greedy and forget or somehow loose sight of their promises and oaths sometimes to profit themselves.

This attitude has been prevailing and increasingly extracting profits form wherever you can without regards for people and the environment.  This started over a quarter century ago under the Regan years.  White-collar crime is the last type of crime to be prosecuted.  Police have some many criminal violations that take priority.  Manpower and dollars are short in a lot of cases whit-collars criminals go from victim to victim and back over and over under different brands.

I see a lot of students, our your folks with strange and off-balanced ideas at to how and economy works.  Many of the ideas are taken for bad examples and get rich schemes with no plan for building success business or investment portfolio.  There need to be more rules to make entry stricter and severely expel continual wrong doers.

The values and attitude is all about making a quick buck!  I hear often I will get in the real estate for a minute and make a quick buck and then do what I want to do…

That statement does not speak well of people and their ambitions, as they would put off their life’s work in anticipation of a quick buck.  Priorities are wrongs and sliding fast as the price of gas goes up.  Get him before he gets me.

There is a big pie to look at to come to sound conclusions and solutions.  When the leaders of a nation act with greed and their own self-interest isn’t it logical the people will follow. There is an old saying, fish start stinking at the head.  Could society be just mimicking what that see from their leaders, in arrogance and disrespect? 

Could that also be why there is such a large counter culture on any significant issue of the day? I think is imperative but see so much other realities that I’m no longer shocked.

Without competence and character it's hard to have trust however, we seem to have a lot of competent characters on here. This is a good reminder to be wary though.

Rich - Very well spoken - Cheers!!

I agree - and I think that you have to have thick skin. To write a post and think everyone will agree with you is unreasonable. It really disturbs me when I respond to a post and get hate mail back, just because the member did not like my reply, or it did not meet their "guidelines" for the post.

It is an open forum, and it supposed to encourage debate. Respectful debate. 

Rich, Trust? What the heck is that? I thought the purpose of this network was to lie, cheat and steal our way to success. OK maybe I didn't really think that. To me trust is everytnig. I agree it takes a while to build and can be lost in an instant. And it's very difficult to get it back once it's lost. Personally I feel we have a very strong network of trust worthy folks here. I'm proud to ba a prt of it.

Rich - Great reminder for all to remember!  I just had this conversation with my 12 year old the other day and I told him..."once I find I cannot trust you anymore your life, as you know it, will change forever..." That is true for everyone - Happy Super Bowl!!

If we didn't have non-trust.... we wouldn't know trust. Great post!

I don't think there is a major problem with people following guidelines. The only problem is that there are a few bad apples but it's only a small portion that is noticed. When things are going well you don't think about it and then someone goes against that and then people notice. It lies...whether or not you really understand them or even really read them. Groups are the main problem...they have their own guidlines ....not the community as a whole.

I like it, I didn't read the guidelines but I did not think I would ever get so far over the line.  Yes I am a smart aleck sometimes, but I want to stay positive.  We need some joking around, and some disagreement to make this site real.  Without going over the line.

Thanks for posting this Rich.  People will never be stopped from acting like fools but they can certainly be encouraged to act like fools somewhere else.  I have never had a problem with any member disagreeing with another.  I believe you can learn as much from people you do not agree with as you can from those you do.  I just do not see any place or purpose for name calling, character bashing or just out right rudeness while delivering or responding to ideas.  We have seen off the wall, very rude and demeaning comments that were designed solely to provoke emotional responses.  Dead silence needs to be the response that they get.  Thanks again Rich.

Rich, It's amazing that people need to be reminded of the importance of trust.  Keeping our word and doing what we say we will do is the basis of a good reputation.

Gracious Rich...

In my mind trust is everything...If we can't trust our fellow Bloggers...Then really...What's the point?

Aside from the almighty points :)  

P.S. It's so hard to comment after Blog Boy...We think so much alike :)  

TLW...ROAR!

I believe most relationships start out on TRUST; if trust is broken then it takes time to re-build it. If one of my children breaks curvue, then it takes time to build that trust back up again.

I like a good debate here, but I don't like calling people out in posts or calling out the AR system out on things they would like changed. There is a way that should be handled and it is called Private. If a person has a problem with a post or a person, we do still have telephones or email.

If the problem is with points ( the hot topic this week....again) they should have the courage to call you guys up. You are readily available, not spew their private concerns all over their posts. IMO 

Trust is built over time and when someone betrays your trust then it takes a long time to get it back.  There are some who have lost our trust because they do not portray our profession in a favorable light either to their fellow agents or the public by their comments and disregard of the Active Rain guidelines.  Hopefully your series will be a reminder to all of us to straighten up our act.  If not then AR needs to put more muscle behind those guidelines and make those who  flaunt disregard for them pay a higher price than it seems they currently do.

But Missy...

They don't get points for calling/contacting...

They get points for spewing :)

And to top that off I get points for mouthing off :)

TLW...ROAR!

Professor Rich, what you and others here have said is so true, not just for AR but life.  I work to earn and keep the trust of my family, friends and clients!

Sorry Gracious Rich...

You and I both know how near and dear to my heart the Active Rain Guidelines are :)

To All...

I often find myself wondering why not just overlook a perceived wrong?

Kinda like turning the other cheek :)  

There's also the matter of being the one that picks your battles...Never allow someone to do that for you :)  

TLW...ROAR!

I always read your posts.  They are so helpful in understanding the AR philosophy.

Hi Rich - unfortunately, any time you get a group of people together, there always seems to be a certain type of person that is always looking to game the system, beat the rules, and is just generally not of the trusting piece of cloth that most are cut from.  Those people will never see that they are the ones that just might be in need of a refresher read of the guidelines.

This post is a good reminder of just what the guidelines are all about.

Ann

 Morning Rich, how weird to read your analogy, why??? I just heard that Billy Joel is coming to Montreal in April, gotta get me some tickets.

 Re your post, we can't please everyone and shouldn't even try. There will always be a few whiny babies and those who take away from, rather than add value to the community. Eventually they're ignored by the community.

Rich, The guidelines need to be read and understood before they can be complied with. It is good that you are doing this series.

Bill Roberts

We will always have bad apples...it's the nature of the beast. It's how we react to them, that will strengthen or weaken our community. Thanks for addressing this, Rich. Enjoyed the Billy Joel song!

To the minority of untrustworthy people i pray for them to change. That's what we should do.

Great Post Rich.  I think it was time for some reminders about the purpose of ActiveRain. I think some agents use it as a veil to hide behind in vent.

Rich,

Thanks for going over this again. I've seen a number of posts lately that cross over the lines on many of the points you've made and in the process they detract greatly from the overall energy and appeal of AR. 
I hope everyone reads this and takes it to heart....good work!

Jo 

Rich...  Your last statement says it all. But I would add an and there and mention respect also... gaining respect and trust. And I agree with Missy and Ann's comment. The problem with several on here is that they don't respect the individual here on AR to call them or e-mail them with the problem. They go to the people behind AR and complain to them. And if they do it enough, it seems to work sometimes, without giving the other member the benefit of the doubt?  Just curious on what that says? 

On the other hand, not matter what type of community or platform, you will always have a few who will try and game a system, be mean, or not play nice. Sure, reminders are good... but they will even read these and ignore them. For the most part, you can tell who are the ones that understand this and who don't care. It seems to be the same ones that preach to the same choir. 

Like the Realtor Code of Ethics, I wonder how frequently members read it after their initial entry/registration. Most of us do adhere to the principle of debating the issue not attacking the person. 

On the trust issue, Kelly put it so well when he said "once I find I cannot trust you anymore your life, as you know it, will change forever..."  We often don't recognize how significant trust is until we see its absence. Life does change when someone loses trust.

To All...

I think it's important that we remember the Guidelines were put in place to serve as a "Code Of Conduct" for Active Rain Member's.

That being the case...There's nothing wrong with having mediation between Member's when that's necessary.

Sometimes a third party is just what is needed.

We've seen what happens when Member's get carried away and handle mediation themselves...And it ain't pretty. 

TLW...ROAR!

Great post!

I've written, erased and now am writing again.  Why?  A recent negative experience I had.  When a problem arose that had nothing to do with AR and I was contacted by them...and realized an injustice had been done I personally e-mailed, left a message to apologize, took full responsibility even though I truly was not the creator and took immediate steps to rectify the wrong.  It did not matter I was attacked on AR anyway.  Then  I saw others join in.  Clear to see there was a posse of sorts that were privately e-mailing and going in for the kill.  Then to top it off, some folks who are associated with me would post  issues for discussion but were being attacked through the use of the vehicle of AR..... I almost didn't come back to AR... there was so much nastiness...some of it masked in new blogs to be sarcastic and created to directly dispute information the writer was trying to convey in their own posting.  It was a firestorm.

I was fuming and about to post my own ...then decided to get facts.  After all e-mail can be misconstrued when a person is not right in front of you.  Rich you were one that I e-mailed to get a pulse on why this may be happening.  I did not hear from you.  I waited about a day and then went  directly to one of the perpetrators...while they e-mailed me back, I was told there was a family problem, they were to cranky to deal with the issue and did not want to do it through e-mail.  I gave my sympathy for the family problem, and my phone number with a message to call when able.  Within 15 minutes (I think it was less)  the perpetrator was at it again....I still have not received that phone call.

The perpetrator is still blissfully inflating facts, creating new blogs to be dispute the opinions of others for discussions...goes on and on.  Am I just a "female" who is touchy...I don't think so..

They did not succeed in their ultimate goal.   Trust, it would be hard now with any of those folks.  I'm ignoring the bad, gleaning some great information from a few and even after the horrible experience will not shy away but will continue to share and pose my own questions about my industry...while some of those masked  blogs questioned my integrity without mentioning my name...I wonder if they  realize it may just be their  integrity that should be questioned.   Just my opinion...

I think trust and integrity are so important.  That is how I strive to live my life in the larger world and here on Active Rain.  Ultimately, one gets out of life what one puts into life.  I know I am not perfect -- but I do think it is good to strive to be the best that one can be.

Thanks for reminding everyone to review the AR Guidelines......it couldn't hurt!  I, too, find that the majority of the posts are done in a professional manner.  Good post, as always!

Don't all of us need a reminder from time to time about how we need to be- it's not always easy to be a pillar of integrity when all around us (Baseball, Football, Hollywood celebrities) are examples of breaking the rules and very little is done about it. Thanks for the good words!

I agree with Ann's comment. And I can't agree with the comment about not talking about our industries' "dirty little secrets." I sure don't hide any secrets from my clients.

Great Reminder. 

I am new to AR.  I made the "mistake" of pointing out the lack of professionalism being displayed on a particular  blog discussion that was PUBLICLY posted. I received only one not so nice private email, however I did receive many in agreement. They did not post their opinions out in the "open". 

After reading  commments on that continuing blog that used phrases like "emotionallly and mentally disturbed"  and words like "scum"  it was no wonder.  Another word used was Pollyannish, that being defined as someone who happens to believe that civil discourse is better than name calling and personal attacks.  I was lectured that this is part of the "real world".  Who's world would that be? 

I agree with Gary, respectful disagreement is great,  we can be passionate without nasty.  If you are human you can not claim to be expert, we are all on the journey.

PollyAnna and proud of it.

Rich, most of the ActiveRain guidelines are common sense.  Those who are on here for the right reasons do not have a problem complying with them.  For those that are on here to spam and game the system, who are only looking for quick points, and write very little of value, the rules do not matter.  The only way to get them to listen is to take away what they are trying to get, points, that hits them where they live.  So if someone violates the rule, give them points, negative points.

WOW, what a variety of comments you've generated here, Rich!  My thought is: If you live your live with integrity and being trustworthy, your comments on Active Rain will reflect that!  I agree that you can agree to disagree RESPECTFULLY and I think we do a pretty good job of that in this community.  Great post!

From those days of lurking before ever joining AR I noticed there were a few folks who seemed determined to prove how thoughtless, rude and tactless they can be. But, the good news is they are few and far between. As a matter of fact Rich, the vast majority are capable, willing and thoughtful folks who are just as determined to be an addition to the AR community as well as their actual communities. Interesting that community is indeed community where ever we find ourselves. 

Rich,
What are we going to do?  Go back to Charm School.  Hey if you don't show professionalism, trust, consideration here in AR, I wornder what you do in your business. AJ

Rich

It is important everybody remember the guidelines, yes it is.. thanks for posting to REMEMBER

Rich.. Great post and a great reminder of the guidelines. Thanks for the revisit.

Rich,

I haven't had the experience of receiving nasty e-mails or comments on my AR blog.  I don't know how I've managed to avoid all the bad apples, but so far I haven't experienced any of this.  I know from past Internet discussion groups that sub-groups can form within an online forum and when this happens there are a lot of offline conversations and collusion with one another, kind of like an online West Side Story. 

I hope that Active Rain can maintain it's friendly, open culture.  Perhaps it's too much to ask of any online community, but it's what we should continue to strive for and the Active Rain Guidelines are designed to foster this.

You can trust me. I haven't gotten any nasty comments or emails. That I know of...lol. Great post. 

Good post. Hate it when reading comments where people are being mean to the person posting.

Gary, Neal Bryant, I'm with you, have not experienced the nasty...hope I don't but have seen a few I chose not to comment on, don't have to read them, etc. 

Rich - Your post is beautifully written.  Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.  Trust is huge!!!

Thanks for the post Rich. And for the comment on my blog. I think you hit the nail on the head with this one.

Rich, Great idea on doing a series on the AR guidelines. I have read thru the comments and feel a tad confused. Guess that is because I have never seen some of the behavior that has been mentioned. Not that I don't believe, I have just been lucky I guess. I have trusted this network and have felt the mutual respect and trust the majority of the membership has. Thanks for the more in depth insight.

Hey, great discussion here! Thanks for all the awesome contributions to the dialogue!

George - you're absolutely right, and we have begun to take a more agressive stance towards those who are abusing our network and violating the guidelines. For some, points will be taken away, and for others, their accounts will be deleted. As we revise the Guidelines, we will also state very specific consequences to those who wish NOT to be trusted.

Renee - I apologize profusely for not getting back to you quick enough. I sent you an e-mail late last night, and will discuss your situation in more length when I call. Thanks!

Jeff - I totally agree. it's obvious by the nature of comments here, that most of us are on the same page, and that's it's just a small minority of members who aren't necessarily concerned about 'trust' or maintaining their integrity. Our responsibility as Network Administrators is to ensure that the ground rules are clearly spelled out and understood, and to also establish equally clear consequences for when those rules are deliberately violated.

Rich - Thank you.  I received your e-mail.  I appreciate this discussion and the comments and am very happy that the Network Adminstrators are so proactive.

The effort to maintain a high level of integrity is appreciated. Most would likely obey the guidelines even if they did not exist. They certainly do not place any unreasonable restrictions on use of the site.

Rich,

For the most part, I would say, members are operating here in a professional manner which makes the site such a powerful tool. But it is necessary to visit these guidelines from time to time so that newbies and oldies are reminded what is expected of them.

I've come around on the whole points thing.  I think if the point system went away so would a lot of the crap. The points were necessary to build Active Rain but no longer needed.

WONDERFUL ! High 5 to you ! As for me I have learned the "trouble makers" of AR, I walk away, continue doing what I am doing not worrying about what they are doing and I surround myself around people like You, Missy, Jo-Anne and so many others that are true to their word and true to themselves ! Great post Rich !

Trust removes the fear of judgement. Well, that speaks volumes. Maybe that's what I need to do here. I have been fearful of posting from the beginning. Why? Fear of being judged. I need to trust. More that is and maybe my writing will improve. Thank you for the inspirational words, Rich. Deb

What? There are rules?  Just Kidding!  Thanks for the friendly reminder.  Oh, by the way... I LOVE AR!! Thanks for all your hard work ActiveRich!

Thanks for the reminder

BB 

I love you, guys! This is what makes the Rain so rewarding and enjoyable!!!

Well it seems we just can't stop coming back for more.  We LOVE rules I guess.  Thanks for the refresher.

Good post Rich.  As an Eagle Scout, I learned many years ago, ( very many) that we are to be Trustworthy.  It is the first of the 12 points of the boy scout law.

Don

Rich.....Thank you for the reminder post on the community guidelines.  They are basic and follow the golden rule.

 

  RICH: I believe in trust. I believe most people in the Real Estate Industry are trustworthy. There is always a %age who have bad deeds and negativity to spread to others.  Since I am a newbie I am reading this blog of rules for the 1st time. Right now I feel like I walked in the room, sat down and got caught up watching a night time soap opera  in Mid season not knowing whats going on except people are upset with each other with name calling etc.  I pray that the injured parties will have it resolved and have peace.  I love learning from this community of A/R.   

Thank you for reminding me to be appropriate. I am trustworthy and have an expectation that the people on this website are also.

Kieran

"Trust allows us to be transparent. Trust encourages vulnerability. Trust removes the fear of judgement. Trust provides a safety net of mutual respect, care, and concern."

 

There is nothing more true than this statement. I came across this blog accidently and I am ever glad I did!

 

 

Kye: Nice of you to stop by. Thanks for your kind words. There are times we write things, albeit rarely, where it seems to come from somewhere beyond ourselves. Perhaps that is the muse within us? Hope you're enjoying your dancing in the Rain. Let me know if I can ever be of help to you...

Hi. I'm BRAND new to ActiveRain and have no idea what I'm doing. I don't even know what's going to happen by submitting this comment. That's why I'm reading this post in the first place. I figured it made sense to do what the experts told me to do to get started. Are you telling me not everyone follows these directions...? Well...I promise to do my best to be respectful and professional with everything I do here...just as I would expect everyone else to do the same. We all know there are exceptions to every rule and I look forward to learning from, contributing and belonging to the ActiveRain network. Now, if someone would just tell me what all this stuff about "points" means :)

Rick:  Welcome to the Rain! Make a point of accessing the AR Home Page (just click on the AR logo at the top of the page, and then click on the link "Getting Started"...that will answer most of your questions, and provide some step-by-step tutorials on how to get rolling. Good to have you here with us!

Rich,

Thanks for the post...most AR members I've come across are respectful of the guidelines and I'm glad to be a part of this community.